Why do I have such a hard time forgiving myself?

-We have suggested previously that a safe attachment refers to someone with whom we can learn to let our guard down, soften our defense mechanisms,  and enjoy being in their presence.

We have also suggested that we believe that Jesus Christ is the quintessential safe attachment for all Christ followers. 

But what if there are Christ-followers in our local congregations who are not yet able to represent Christ well to other Christ-followers in the same congregation?  It is a mind set (a failure to believe, embrace, and live out the truth), a mind set that Paul found it necessary to confront in the church at Galatia, for example (see Galatians 3). 

Let’s carry it further.  What if young converts, who walk among the membership, begin to adopt this legalistic stance so that a double-mindedness becomes prevalent within the body of believers and more pointedly, is internalized in the young convert.  So that a part of the young convert’s thinking is aligning with the grace message (salvation by grace alone, through faith alone, in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit alone) and another part of the young convert’s thinking is aligning with a works based, performance based acceptance mentality – so that these young converts are like a reed blowing in the wind, one moment declaring forgiveness over those who have failed and at another moment, are ready to condemn those who have, like themselves, sinned.  

Going a step further, consider James clear warning to Christ followers that if we practice double-mindedness, we can become unstable “in all our ways” and Jesus warning that a house divided against itself cannot stand and Paul reminding us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that God has not given us “a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a single-mind” (a sound mind)?   Have we not seen this play out among individuals in our churches, where “a part of them” (an aspect of their thinking) is agreeing with the message of grace and can quote a myriad of Bible passages on God’s forgiveness  – while another part of them (another aspect of their thinking) is demanding strict adherence to the law and refuses to receive the free gift of God’s forgiveness for themselves?  This is more common than some might think.

We would suggest that an evidence that a Christ-follower is learning to surrender their life (and thinking) to God’s grace and mercy may be recognized in the softening of their self-condemnatory self-talk so that such a person is able to align with the compassionate Christ as He extends  grace to them, much like Jesus extended grace and mercy to the woman caught in adultery, refusing to condemn her. 

This battle is being fought interpersonally, in homes, businesses, and church families, and intra-personally, within the minds and hearts of individual believers.  And cosmically, it is being fought as the accuser of the brethren (Revelation 12:10) continues to accuse followers of Christ “day and night”, even as Jesus Christ Himself “ever lives to make intercession for us”, as our advocate (Hebrews 7:25).

Forgiveness is one of the greatest weapons Christ has armed his followers with, for the good of us all.  Is it any wonder that on so many fronts we as followers of Christ continue to struggle to understand and apply this provision of grace intra-personally and inter-personally?

Join Stuart as he explores God’s provision in Christ Jesus to set us free from our self-condemnation and the painful consequences of continuing to rely upon ourselves for what Christ alone has already accomplished on our behalf:  the forgiveness of sin and the bestowing of a new blood-bought identity in Christ Jesus, free from condemnation! 

Hear stories of very precious followers of Christ who had been to multiple counselors, psychiatrists, and  more than one pastor after having committed repeated sexual sin, or after having committed some other sin even once in a manner that grieved their hearts for years.  Hear how they were finally able to find freedom in Christ! 

Stay tuned for posts and podcasts where Stuart walks Christ followers through a simple process that can help someone they love break free of self-condemnation.  Someone they love who may have felt stuck in their shame and guilt for years, decades, a lifetime!  Hear how we can all help one another to appropriate God’s mercy and grace in a way that can transforme our lives intra-personally as well as inter-personally!